Ammachiyemba Nenapu

Thanks to Covid I am getting to watch some series and parallel movies alike.  I discovered this gem amongst some others like “Kavalu Daaru”, “Mundina Nildana”, “Godhi Banna, Sadharana Mai Kattu” etc.

To begin, I salute the makers to have brought such an interesting story to mainstream audience.  Thank you Champa Shetty for daring to make this movie.

 Photo source - Google / Youtube

I am not attempting to write the review but an honest attempt to pen my thoughts surrounding the movie after I watched it.  I watched this movie twice and I may consider watching it many more times.  Until, I know longer feel the lump in my throat when Akku’s dad finally gives up on her helplessly.

To me, the plight of Puttammatte is beyond any words can describe. Is it like she was never destined to be happy at all?

The 3^rd protagonist gives me something to hope for.  Ammachi finally has the last laugh.  That really made me happy.

The movie makes me clench my teeth towards some characters in the movie.  Also makes me wonder, if this is the prize many women are paying only because the men around them are either dominating or atrociously egoistic?  This is not the story of the past or current, this has been going on across classes, culture and continents may be.  The common thread is all about woman should dare not have a voice.

When will this outrage end? What kind of message are we teaching our younger generations?  As a keen reader of history, I cannot fathom why should this be so complex?  Who gives this superiority to one gender?   I cannot help to sympathize all the wonderful women we lost due to certain monstrosities around them.

As I write this, there is only one thought.  Let there be no tear in any woman’s eye which is not worth rolling down her cheeks.  May there not be any wounds in any woman’s mind that needs some suture. May there not be unsaid words locked up behind her lips that needs a caring heart. Above all, may there not be any woman who feels the need of freedom from her own shackles. 

Peace, Universe.  Give them peace. 

Life's Irony

We walked for fun

10 kms on foot doubled up as a fitness challenge

The start was pleasant with fresh air

The chatter added to the zeal

Midway through, one in the group asked “how long”

Others chide, just that bend there

What a relief, sighed the other

There awaited our treat for the task

Soon, the sun had his tricks up his sleeve

Which caught the delicate darlings by surprise

This is it, one gave up

The others chimed like a dominos pile

The fun was gone 

The sweat was talking

The absence of water made the brows rise

This is not what we signed up, cried the damsel

The über or Ola or an auto was just a call away

All that it meant was the end of the ordeal

It is easy as that.. a phone and money in the wallet

To bounce back to happiness in jiffy

Few minutes and the drive began

The AC blowing into the face was a saviour

Oh, we couldn’t complete our 10K, winked one

Forget it, we don’t have to, relieved us of our guilt

Back home, meant people awaiting the return

How about a Latte or a Lemonade were the choices

The shower didn’t felt as good 

The so called pain lasted just for few minutes

Still tired, the cushion on bed was inviting

The soft pillow felt like heaven

The fresh air was adding bliss

What a blessed life

The peace was short lived when a thought crawled

What about all the other brothers & sisters on the road

How different am I from them

We are same, screamed an inner voice

Both in spirit and at heart

Life, can you be fair please

Not a single person deserved

The ordeal they are going through

We all failed them, collectively

Each life matters

Just that one person was a world

To the lonely mother awaiting the return

Cursing why the poverty stuck like a stubborn child

I could no longer breathe in peace

Turning away from such stories

Wasn’t a solution

The reality still stayed

It has stayed on….

Let peace prevail

In everyone’s life

And more Smiles. 

Life...lived only forwards

The new year has begun quietly for me.  In a corporate lingo, it is the fag end of one quarter. It's as if the race has begun.  It waits for none.  Keeps its pace no matter what.

Some new habits have been added which makes it worthwhile:

1. Walks
2. Not consuming deep fried food after 6 (This is an interesting habit picked from Uma - one of the Toastmaster friends long time ago)
3. Not consuming rice or rice products on Thursday.  (This habit is picked from a very dear friend - Utpal)
4. No meals / any kind of food after 10 pm.  (This habit from an article/interview of Sameera Reddy).
5. Be optimistic - (My sole contribution :) )


I intend to add more and make the journey all the more stringent or fun.  Let's watch.

The new woman in his life!

I thought I ruled his life till she came along.  She was awesome to begin with.  But I never thought he would fall for her smile in less than few split seconds - that too overnight.  Well, being his well wisher and his best buddy for life I went ahead and accepted their love.  I allowed it to blossom and spread its fragrance in his life.

While it was interesting to see the fondness, bonding and attachment for each other growing, i was drowning.  But their love for each other was beautiful.  He a narcoleptic turned into a night owl just to be with her as much as possible.  She too was enjoying his attention, no doubt. I was a silent spectator waiting for him to notice me as well.

How long the infatuation could last, I thought. It will wither with time I assumed and I waited.  I knew, he will come back to me someday or later.  She had not only overpowered him, she had made him dance to her tunes. She had mesmerised him completely. He was shackled in the powerful clutches of her innocence.

Till then I was his model.  Now it is her
Till then my stories filled his world.  Now she fills his world.
My wish used to be his command. Now she started commanding.

How conveniently I became an unknown part of his life from being an integral part.  I could not complain. How could I?  I knew, he was struggling and juggling between her and me.  No doubt she got the lion's share of his time, attention and love.

Nothing is constant, everybody assured me.  She proved me wrong.  I'm told, when swimming in high currents, don't go against it but along with it.  I watched them even closer.  Their love was so pure, unconditional and was beyond any boundaries. I stepped out and allowed them to enjoy. They continue to enjoy their space and I smile in silence.

Trek to Baanantimaari Betta

Any experience, good or bad is a great learning is what I have always lived by.  Any trek for me is a welcome opportunity to explore unknown territories and flex muscles to prove the body how strong the mind is.

I just wanted to trek.  Any place did not really matter.  That is the beauty when one is flexible. When I signed up with Basecamp for a trek to Madhugiri hills, I could not make it last week.  The one that followed is Baanantimari Betta.  This place is approximately 75 kms from Bangalore towards Kanakapura.

We were 5 of us - the trekkers who had signed up for this journey, our guide along with our driver who hit the road early morning at 6.30.  The weather was far than pleasant and perfect for a trek.  Our group was quite unique.  A very interesting outdoor family consisting of an enthusiastic couple, their 2 wonderful daughters aged 13 and 16.

When we reached the foothill of the mountain, it looked calm, serene and inviting.  Any first timer would always doubt on how do I go about climbing this mountain when there is no path.  Trekking is all about making way through unknown territories.  Having a good guide is a must.  We started the trek heading towards a narrow path that led us into the forest.  Slowly but steadily, we kept going into the forest.  The path was not a very easy one.  Sometimes the terrain was plane, then it was uphill with rocks, then it was thick forest and then it was like a cave.  Our group kept walking while admiring all the beauty the place was offering us.

Interestingly, the forest does not have any trees that bears neither fruits or flowers except one tree which had a beautiful flower on the path way.  Our guide warned us not to venture into touching or plucking it as it is poisonous.  No wonder the flower is still intact we thought.  We got to know this flower is called as "Tiger Claws" and it looked really beautiful.

We continued our journey and it took 3 hours for to reach to the top of the mountain.  The view was just amazing.  From top, everything down looked beautiful, non-chaotic and insignificant.  Felt so good to be there..  We all sat there and had our lunch.  The 6 strangers had in no time become friends and we were sharing our lunch with each other.  We soaked ourselves amid nature and the silence. We just sat there and did not want to leave.

For me it t was that moment of quietness which I had been longing for.  The bruises on the legs did not matter.  Waking up early to start for the trek did not matter.  Staying away from home did not matter. Nothing mattered.  That moment was the present for me.  I soaked in it as much and nothing else mattered.

Well everything has to end.. and we had to start our journey back with a heavy heart. At 12.30 pm we started trekking back.  On our way back, it was a different experience.  Generally in life going up is always difficult and coming down is easy.  But in trekking coming down had its own challenges.  We need to watch our steps.  We can't hurry. We need to walk horizontal and keep our feet firm on the ground as the plain could be slippery.  We walked in line like ants and ensured we followed our guide.  We would warn the person behind us if we saw or felt anything unusual.

The trek downhill was almost peaceful till I found a plastic toy kind of a thing on our way.  I was upset how some people have left some plastic behind and shared the thought with my guide.  My guide looked at it and said it is a Scorpio.  My feet literally turned cold.  It was a dark green scorpion which was idle and even waited till our fellow trekkers went ahead and clicked its pictures.

From then on wards, it was a lesson for me to be even more alert.  We hit the base in the next 2 hours and 30 minutes and headed towards Bangalore.

When I started, I was asking myself why am I doing this?  I had some reasons.  I wanted to test my physical stamina.  After all the yoga and walking that I've been doing I wanted to see how far I can exert my body to take some pressure.  My second reason being, I wanted to be with nature from health perspective.  Go to a place where there is not much of invasion of plastic and pollution.  Also my 3rd reason being, my quiet promise I made myself that I should go for 2-3 treks in 2014. :)

The reason could be any..what I got is something beyond all this.  Looking forward to many more. 

The sealed envelope

The year 2012 started with lot of hope and anticipation. The last 2 digits of the year "12", did look attractive. As always, the year threw open various challenges along with opportunities to learn and become a better individual. Now that am at the fag end of the year, when I look few things that really stand out include


a) Trip to Srilanka for TM District Conference.

b) Trip to Thailand - Cruising through islands

c) Trip to Ooty, Kodai, Goa and Coorg (oh yeah! different time frames)

Apart from that, some new people I met have been a blessing and are playing integral role in my life. Some bonds grew stronger and some I could not keep it going due to hectic schedule.

When I look back, I did manage to do what I like the most - a little bit of traveling. Unfortunately, have to stall my visits to LA - my Toastmaster club. Thanks to my office location and the traffic.

That said, something is missing for sure. The time that's gone by is just gone. Where have I made the investment is the big question I am asking myself.

Yesterday, in our year end dinner it was a fun exercise I was exposed to. The team in the last meeting of the previous year had to write

a) What do you want the same for the next year?
b) What do you want to be different the next year?

It was fun reading the then team's responses. The current set up was, most of the team was new and the people who had written weren't there. In some cases, they had predicted they would move on and in some it had happened as if it was a sweet co-incidence.

This year too, after the dinner we were all asked to write the same thing and all our responses were sealed. Our big boss will open the envelope next year after the year end dinner. Quite intriguing, interesting and fun exercise I thought.

I'm asking myself the same question again and again. I did write something and my response is sealed in that envelope which is safe in my big boss's cabin.

I still am pondering on the same questions:

What will be the same in the next year for me?
What will be different in the next year?

I guess it's time to give a thought to those 2 questions and live by those answers which I'm going to write and seal so that when I open the envelope, I smile that I lived true to myself. 

Shabana's wedding!!

A surprise call from Shabs made me look at the date and smile it is not Oct 8th. Invariably, I end up calling Shabana on 8th Oct of every year and she teases me her birthday is on 4th Oct.


Shabana and I go back 10 long years when we became friends at Indiainfo and fortunately been in touch. The call sometime in September 1st week was to let me know that she is getting married on September 15th. She said she will send me the details on email and asked me to text my “new” email id. I promptly missed and welcomed the wrath which followed.

My hectic schedule did not permit me to check and clarify where is Shabanan’s wedding till the evening of 15th September. On the call, I vaguely remember her telling me Richmond Circle. On September 15th, I promptly went and shopped for a gift and got decked up in a silk saree. Raised high hopes of yummy biryani at the wedding, along with hubby and daughter, we drove towards Richmond Circle.

On the way, my heart beat starting beating relatively faster when I did not have Shabana’s phone number stored. That’s when I realized all my previous contacts on the phone had got wiped out because of some reconfiguration on my blackberry. Slowly I whispered to my husband to go towards “Sacred heart auditorium” first. Given the traffic in Bangalore and one ways, we can’t go wherever we want but go where roads take us. As I neared Sacred Heart Auditorium, the empty hall failed to welcome us. By then, the lipstick had started drying and I did not have guts to apply another coat. :) I asked my husband to go towards St Patrick’s church and prayed to all the god’s and wished Shabana’s wedding was at St Patrick’s.

A sigh of relief walked passed me when I heard music and lights at St Patrick’s. We promptly parked the car and walked towards the entrance. My hope sunk deep down when at the entrance the welcome board read some other name. Now my hopes had hit rock bottom. Few friends we have in common were out of country and one friend in Hyderabad. As I did not have their numbers, turned to “Google God” on the smart phone which looked handy. My first search criterion was “Weddings in Bangalore on September 15th”. The Google God, did not throw any results from India. It’s then; I tried checking my email on the phone. Well, that day the luck god was not really favoring me. When I entered the login credentials, the phone said it will not allow me to login as it does not recognize the device. Phew…. I stood there in front of St Patrick’s church not knowing what to do.

When all my attempts to find a way failed, the way forward was to go back. We were all dejected, disappointed and disheartened. All of us decked up for the wedding headed straight to Papa Johns as there was no food at home. Nemo was very happy she was getting a surprise Pizza. While Vinod and I had a "silent" dinner, the only thought on my mind was “where is Shabana’s wedding?”

Even as I write this, I don’t know where was Shabana’s wedding. When I told my neighbor friends this incident they only laugh. Finally, I’ve connected Shabana on Facebook and hopefully will ping her there to get an answer to “where is Shabana’s wedding?”.

Shabs, if you thought I missed your wedding – it’s not true. This is what happened! :)

Puzzle???

I love jig saw puzzles. Especially when they are scattered everywhere and how one bit at a time leads to the bigger picture.

At home, having a 5 year old means missing pieces of jig saw puzzles.  Today, it was cleaning day which is a ritual when the toys are all over the place. As I started segregating the various kinds of toys, I happened to pull a jigsaw puzzle pieces.  There were many.  I had to do something about it.

Once I got hold of the pieces, I started arranging them.  They were really tricky.  Sometimes it looked as if I was at an herculean task of arranging the puzzle with few pieces.  The mind was trying to deceive me by tricking me that most of the pieces were missing and I can never arrange the puzzle.  I was not the one to give up, I called the in house expert nemo to fix the puzzle.

That is the beauty of kids.  She collected all the pieces and started arranging it in her style.  It was amazing to see how she knew where each piece went.  In no time, she fixed it and ran to play some other game.

I sat there staring at the puzzle.  I couldn't help thinking how most of the times our life is like the jig saw puzzle.  While arranging it, half way through we feel like giving up because we are made to think some pieces are missing.  If we don't give up and continue to arrange is when we can see a shape or we reach our destiny.  

Road to mom’s home

A random call on Sunday morning to exchange pleasantries with mom threw a surprise at me. My mom answered the call and she did not sound the same.  When I pressed hard to tell me where she was, she replied in a low voice that she is at a nearby clinic. I could just gather these three words “I am coming”.

There are innumerable occasions and times I have told myself I am lucky to be living so close by to where my mom lives.  20 kms is a big boon when compared to some of my friends who are 10 times more the distance and 100 times more helpless during the times of crisis or joy.  I took my car and set to my home, my birth home, my mom’s home.   

It was not a pleasant drive as the summer has set in to Bangalore already.  As I reached closer home, the road to mom’s house is closed.  There was some construction work going on and there was no way I could enter the territory.  As I am relatively familiar with the area, I took an about turn and went around the place to get to mom’s place through a different route to get closer to that road.  This was tough.  The roads were extremely crowded, narrow and congested.  The best part there was no road.  As I did not want to give up, I scraped through those by lanes and made it almost to the road which is parallel to where my mom’s home is.  The road further is closed.  Well, I too thought what anyone at my place would do.  I looked for a place to park my car.  The closest I could get was 1 km away.  I was at HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired) at that moment.  Partially helpless, I called mom to let her know my plight and asked her if she could come and meet me. My mom, being my mom said, “I’m busy cooking food for you.  Why don’t you somehow get here”?   As couldn’t find a place to park my car and get to her place by walking (I was wearing high heels), I reversed the car and got straight back to my abode.  

The whole week my mom and I couldn’t really speak.  Once that we spoke, she did mention how she is disappointed she could not see me.  I promised her I’ll meet her the next Saturday which I think consoled both of us momentarily.  

The most awaited Saturday did come by.  As a backup plan, I even thought how I should get to a place where I could part with my car and continue my journey in an auto. Saturday morning after my walk, I thought I’ll quickly catch up on my work and sat there on the couch with my laptop for close to 2 hours.  End of 2 hours a nagging pain started in the upper back.  I ignored and started getting ready to go.  After a while, the pain really troubled me so much that there was no way I could drive 20 kms. I called my mom to let her know I won’t be able to make it.  My mom said just three words “I am coming”.

Women’s day, Holi and Toastmasters

8^th March of every year is celebrated as International Women’s day.  Being in Toastmasters helps me talk about the importance of the day, we weave speeches around this and the themes end up all about women.  This time around, it coincided with holi.  Holi, the festival of colors on women’s day does make it special.  Women (girls) anyway are called as “colors” by road romeos *.  So, Holi on Women’s day became very apt.

Women’s day reminds me of this wonderful species called “women” in which I belong too.  The newspaper had a very interesting thought for the day on women:  “They may be from Venus but women sure make the earth a better place to live in.”  So original and makes all the women feel so proud. It is amazing how women have shaped the world for whatever it is today.  They are highly resilient, tolerant, strong willed and at the same time melt like butter when it comes to emotions.    

I tried making a list of wonderful women in my life – the list tops my mom and Lakshmamma for sure. :) Then some of my school teachers, couple of lecturers at college who carved me from stone to sculpture.  Then my two wonderful sisters, some of my girlfriends and the most recent addition, my little daughter nemo who I am sure will grow up to be a wonderful woman I will admire.

As my journey continues, I intend to meet many more wonderful women, from whom I can draw both strength and inspiration.  And some day, be that woman who can be an inspiration to couple if not more. That’s my wish for my “women’s day”

*A popular term used in Bangalore for the boys who stand near a girls college waiting for their potential girlfriends/Laila's :) 

He’s a winner!

My facebook status announced him a winner a day before the finals of Australian open 2012. It was a tensed moment to see my super hero of tennis fighting out in semifinals with the favorite of the season – Roger Federer. That’s who Nadal is. The one thing that differentiates him among the rest is, his strong mental ability to just not give up. Nadal did beat Roger Federer and made it to finals with Djokovic.
 
I don’t remember when I started following Nadal's game. It must be one of those matches in which he lost to Federer. In 2005 it was Federer the winner and there was nobody to challenge him. From somewhere Nadal appears and gives him a tough fight which was soothing eyes. True sports should always be about fighting or the clash of titans than one sided match. Nadal started giving those moments to Federer but they did it with class. Then the era of Nadal started for me. He started dominating in clay while Federer in grass. It used to be a treat to watch them in particular because Nadal was so strong both physically and mentally.

The time was set right for the final match of Australian open. By the time I started watching, Nadal had won the first set in a tie breaker. I often fail to understand, why he should take the set to such a tensed moment. Nadal performs best when under pressure is well known but why should it be so, always. The 2nd and 3rd set was conquered by Djokovic. Djokovic was doing what Nadal did to Federer. It looked all right for a common person like me that both were playing technically correct and right match. It was as if one minor mistake of each other was the only way they could score a point. Djokovic winning 2nd and 3rd set wasn’t a treat for my eyes. Nadal, being Nadal bounced back in the 4th set both mentally and physically. By then, they had clocked close to 2.5 hours and the 4th set was a treat to watch. Each and every point Nadal scored spoke about his determination, confidence and persistence to just prove himself he is made to be there.

Not sure how Nadal must have felt beating Federer in semifinals to reach finals with Djokovic but that proves to say he is a fighter. Tennis is a lot more a mental game than a physical game when it is Nadal. The 4th set did go to tie breaker and Nadal proved himself right by winning that set under a lot of pressure. That’s when I thought Djokovic was giving up. In between it started raining and both the players got few moments of rest – the most needed. They both bounced back to fight it out. Nadal almost took the match to his side in the 5th set. Each and every point counted. A wrong serve meant a lot to Nadal. For the first time Nadal’s first serve did not support him as much. Undeterred by who was playing the other side, Nadal kept his cool and played his best. All through, he was playing just for that one goal, his one vision and another win just there. That dream eluded him as the 5th set progressed. I did not see it coming either. Knowing Nadal, it was now about some magic and Nadal lifting the cup. The destiny had different plans. After an epic 5 hours 53 minutes that spanned 2 days (Sunday night and Monday morning), Nadal lost to Djokovic leaving many disappointed but stood tall for the tough fight he gave the other player. I can’t stop thinking what a warrior he is to fight it out even till the nth second. He is a winner, in a different sense.

Believe the belief and doubt the doubt

There is magic in the power of belief. Even more magical if one starts believing in oneself. I had read about how Honda Company had started and the founder Soichiro Honda had seen failures in many forms. The power of believing that he was destined to build an empire which revolutionized automobile industry remains history.

Belief reminds me of the song “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky” by R Kelly. It is weird how I fell in love with this song. Back then in 2004 or 2005, Standard Chartered Bank had this song while customers were put on hold. The first time I heard, the song did take me to a different world. The next time, it mesmerized me. The next, I called Standard Chartered just to listen to this song. It had got into me.

Belief also reminds me of this poem I learnt while in school. There is this train whose task is to climb uphill. It seemed very hard our little train. The train is really not sure if it can make it but is not left with any choice but to chug its way to the top. So it says “I think I can, I think I can”. It keeps saying this and makes it to the top. When on top it is all happy and beaming with pride. On its way down it says “I thought I could, I could”.

What an excellent power the belief has. Like Henry Ford says, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” It’s time to believe in the power of belief in self and chase the fear of doubt which others want you to believe.

Airtel Vs me

I'm a loyal customer of Airtel from 2003. From then till now I have changed 3 companies but did not change the number nor the service provider despite so many odds. They continue to test my patience and sadly they win despite not faring well on the service part.

The latest debacle goes as following. I don't know what happened to them, one fine day they go ahead and change their logo. Later I was told because of their 3G tag. As far as my little knowledge of 3G goes, it is supposed to increase speed but I was caught by surprise. I promptly go online to check them out and the website is not working. Yeah, happens right when you are migrating from one platform to other. So, I generously forgave them and logged in after 2 weeks. Still the same. Anyway, it did not matter to me if their website is up or down. All that I wanted is to pay my mobile bill. That is all. With a lot of struggle I happened to land on their payments page and I enter all the details. The web page goes time out and due to payment gateway, my payment is not accepted. I first discovered mcheck on airtel and was wowed by their service when they were old fashioned. Anyway, I could not pay the mobile bill for 3 months. Airtel too promptly disconnected my outgoing calls. How convenient for me. Oh yeah...They did send me a gentle reminder before doing so and I too promptly went online to pay the bill and the payment site is not working. When the phone stopped working so does my other services on the phone like emails, browsing and sms too stopped functioning.

Airtel refuses to go tech and want me to follow their traditional mode of payments which is going to their customer care office (physically) and make the payment. Well, no choice right. Went ahead and dragged my self to do that (despite the hectic schedule :) ) and made the payment. Within 30 minutes my phone started working sans the emails and browsing.

Again I had to call their customer care number and after 3-4 minutes I get to talk to their Customer (don't) Care Executive. After listening to my story, he gave me another number to call to fix the problem. I promptly call that number and that number is not working. My patience is still patiently with me. I go ahead and call the Customer (don't) Care Executive 2 and this time he game me another number. By now, I had become a little smarter and I told the Executive no. 2 to stay online and call the number 2. No surprises. That number too is not working. I go back to Customer (don't) care executive no. 2 and tell him the same. He then puts me on hold and he personally calls that number and comes back to me affirming the fact that it is not working. Anyway, I gave a brilliant idea to them. Because their numbers are not working, I asked them to call me. My Customer (don't) Care Executive tells me they don't have an outgoing facility. I reminded them that they are working for "airtel" and how is that possible. I was slapped with that ready made reply that it is their process. *%&%&%&$#%&#&%# I hung up the phone. Emails not working. Airtel is happy and I am unhappy.

how external influence can influence one internally!!

It is not easy to change jobs and shift house. Doing both at the same time is like you digging your own grave and jumping into it.
I was so wrong. Getting interviewed, researching about company and making that tough decision of whether to join a new place or not was easy. The things that followed were really difficult. Let me explain:
(My tone may be a little frustrated one..but I’m going through something beyond that)
Bank Account: When I joined Oracle, I got HDFC account. By then I was very comfortable with ICICI and was forced to move to HDFC (life does not give too many choices is so true in my case). I’m ok with HDFC except the fact, their customer care really don’t care. For anything like change of address, I am supposed to be going to their bank and giving a letter in person. While they enroll me, they come to my office. While I want some service after that I have to go to their office. Don’t they even understand/realize how busy we are and they should come up with simple process for something as simple as change of address. However, when I joined my new company they asked me if I want to keep my old account and I curse myself for saying that.
As long as my money was coming to my account and I was able to withdraw it, I or the bank did not have any problems. One fine day, I ran out of cheque leaves. Till I was in Oracle, I had a personal banker who would call me occasionally and ask how their bank is treating me etc. Now that I stepped out, he is not there in the vicinity. Couple of my calls had only promises but did not get fulfilled. However, the bank is very clear that I need them and not the other way round because it is my salary that gets credited in their bank. I am at their mercy. I plan to go to bank tomorrow and resolve this issue before other issues around these crops up. I really can’t handle this.

More to come….
PS: I’m tired by reliving the memory 

I want to live like an animal....

I first saw this video some 15 years ago and instantly fell in love with all - the music, the singer, the actors, the junior artists etc. There is magic in music. The magic to make me feel nice when I'm not feeling so nice about everything, the magic to bring smile when its so difficult to do so, the magic to pep me up when all that is on my mind is to run away. :) This surely sounds like a confession because I don't easily admit I give up. Anyway, the song that I'm referring to is from Savage Garden - the Australian band that has my most favourite Darren Hayes in it. Like I said, I love everything about this song and this is one among the 100 favourite song list that I'm planning to compile. Let me save this for eternity. I dont want to forget that I loved this song at one point in time in my life.


Back then, I wanted to run to the jungle and live like an animal. But not now. I'm not missing much ;) They are all here around me. :)

I want to...

I dont know about others, but I want to do so many things. Sometime back my status was "1001 things on my plate all screaming I'm priority 1". I like it that way.

As of now, there are two things on my mind:

1. Work, work and more work around recruiting/sourcing/make some hires.
2. Play little TT, walk for an hour with some music around me (that's a wish), read something that will make me say "wow" :)
Actually there is a 3rd one too on my mind. Let me do the two and address them later. :)

BTW, I'll be going to TM and NHRD.

Discovering myself through my blog?

I happened to bump into this link through some other blog. :) Life is like that. If everybody likes reading something nice about themselves I'm not an exception here. I'm not sure if all that's mentioned here is true about me except one - "tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders". Now I know why my left shoulder is hurting. I can talk about it later though.

And here's my analysis. (I liked the illustration)
ISFP - The Artists
The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Here's the link to know more about you through your blog.
http://www.typealyzer.com

I'm wondering how on earth somebody comes up with an idea like this and even materialises it. I'm awed!!!

all in the race

After really long time, I was behind the steering wheel. I was stuck in the traffic and I couldnt resist the temptation to get irritated because I was driving. But I tried not to. Like all, I too was racing for time. Despite starting well in advance, given my track history of keeping on time, I was behind the schedule. Near the traffic signal, in the nick of time where a lot of things happen. That too in split of a second. I've been told, taught and also its law to stop the moment red light is on. The amber light gives us a hint red is on its way. Still, some people ignore it and try to squeeze themselves and feel so good about it. While some promptly stop and wait for the green light to turn on.

I had this big question running on my mind for quite sometime. Which is, while some people live a life of values, truth and morals and others dont, in the end (according to me is the death) the one who has lived the life of truthfulness will score more and he is the winner in the race. As I grew up, when I saw people who despite not living a life in the right way (again right way is entirely how I perceived it as right) not having any problems did not fall in the 1st logic that evild gets punished. Yesterday, I was relating everybody else's commute itself to the journey of life, . While some stick to rules others dont. They may win momentarily but in the end, when they look back at their journey the person who has jumped signals know it, his journey was not the right one while the one who stopped at all and followed rules is the real winner. In the end, it just matters to the self and one is answerable to self alone. I got my answer.

My new teacher!!

Last Sunday we had been to Bannerghatta National park. This is the result of two weeks meticulous planning, which also involved 2 other families. I really don’t know how people go on vacation in groups that involve multiple families. Finally, we 3 were determined to go and another single friend joined us. (Really sweet of her – She is a joy to be with). This visit to National Park’s sole motive was to entertain our 2.5 years old Nemo who is familiarised with what’s there in the zoo with the help of books.

One whole week, I kept telling her we are going to National Park on Sunday and prepared her for the upcoming big event. Finally the Sunday arrived and we were excited too. All of us got into the car and were welcomed by the huge traffic on Bannerghatta Road which drove my better half crazy. Nevertheless, Nemo’s spirits and mine were not dampened. As we reached the park, we were welcomed again by the long queues for ticketing followed by jungle safari queue.

While we were standing in the line, Nemo enjoyed the crowd, the other kids and the monkeys that were jumping from one tree to the other. As we got into the matador and were taken into the jungle the first thing that we spotted was some animal, which was not there in Nemo’s book. She dint care. Next was the Bear. Nemo knew the Bear. She dint care this time too. Instead she was happy to be sitting between her mom and dad. Next we saw Tiger. After much persuasion from us, she looked as if she is interested.

All of us got some hint then and there that our madam is not too excited about watching these animals. After our safari we entered the Zoo. The zoo has a little park that has a swing, sliding stone and a merry go round. The moment Nemo saw that it was as if she found her treasure. She ran to the swing and kept playing there. She dint want to leave that place for anything else. While we were trying to explain her why we have come to the Zoo and how she may like the other things in the Zoo, she was not the one to listen. She just wanted to swing in the swing. Though we let her play a thought immediately crossed my mind.

What I thought she might like is not what she likes. This tiny doll – all of 2.5 years has a mind of her own and wants to exercise her wish. It doesn’t matter to her what other things are around her. Her focus is what she is familiar with and what gives her joy. She knew that she was firm in her decision. I only assumed she likes something and presented to her but couldn’t impose it on her.

Nemo is my teacher these days. Instead of imposing things on her, she wants us to collaboratively help her grow and bloom the way she wants. I’ll have to learn to abide by this.

Dream lived!!!

Oracle had intrigued me even before I joined this massive organisation. Way back in 2000 and 2001 I had couple of very good friends who were in Oracle. I used to pay frequent visits to OTP office and had more reasons to be impressed. The Oraclites with the red tag around their neck did stand out in the crowd. Be it their professional approach right from the secuity check to the reception, they had it in them. And my dear good friends who were all the toppers in their respective college were the brand ambassadors for me.

May be it was then the seed of desire was planted in me and I too started to nourish it. Sometime in 2002, I got to know there was an opportunity to be part of Oracle in HR – Operations. My experience then was HR and administration. I thought I’m the perfect fit and plunged to take up the interview. I arrived at Oracle office, this time as an interviewee. Filled up the form at the entrance and I had to meet up with the Recruitment Manager.

I was escorted to his office. We had a talk that went on for 30 minutes and he parted with a note that somebody from his office will revert to me. I got home with all dreams and anticipation that I’ll soon have that red tag around my neck and how that will make me beam with pride. All that I wanted was to be part of Oracle. I thought I was watering the sapling of desire, which needed some additional nourishment.

One day passed, 2 days, 3 days followed by 1 week. I did not get any call. I was first disappointed. Secondly, devastated. Thirdly determined. Determined to convert this failure into success. It’s very true that failure teaches a lot more than success does. I got the message, which was unsaid, I was not scaling up to what Oracle wanted. I wanted to know what does it take for me to be there. Surely there must be something and I should get there was the only thought.

Having friends already in Oracle did help me. I talked to my friend Nalini, who told me most of the HR’s in Oracle are MBA’s. That striked me, I don’t have one.

I went ahead and enrolled into MBA course with a specialisation in HR and Operations. Worked in the day and studied in the night. Did my assignments diligently. Semester after semester I ensured I got good grades. Simultaneously, I started preparing myself for the job role.

There were times when I used to take my bike and wander near the office and visualise myself working there, my gaining a free entry into the ofice premises, dangling the red tag around my neck and my email id would be my first name.last name @ oracle.com. I dreamed hard. I kept affirming I’d be there soon.

It was in 2006 Feb, my other friend Nanditha who was going places in Oracle Recruitment team told me about an opportunity that exists in Oracle in their team to work with Guna – the recruitment manager. The discussions followed.

My first round a telephonic interview was scheduled. I prepared for this, as I knew I can’t take chances and this is in a way taking me to my goal closer. The call landed on my mobile phone and the interview went on for close to 45 minutes. Then I was invited for a face 2 face or the personal round.

That interview was scheduled on a Saturday in Café Coffee Day close to my home. I reached the venue and was eager to meet Guna of whom I had heard a lot from my other friends working with him.

A casually dressed gentleman arrived and shook hands with me and I knew that it was Guna. It’s his demeanor to put people at ease – I realised that in my first meeting itself. We started the discussion. Before meeting, on the cal we had an understanding that the meeting is for 30 minutes. Our discussion went on for 2 hours - understanding the various BU’s of Oracle, my role, a glance at his role, my career plan and all. Guna came across as a very gentle, understanding and friendly manager. Again, we parted after a long discussion with a note I will get a cal from his office.

1 day passed, 2 days passed followed by 3 days. 4th day, when I cross checked with my friend Nanditha and was awaiting her response; Guna called me and asks me “havent you received the offer letter?”

The rest as they call it is all history. Its 3.5 years now and my bond with Oracle is growing strong.