Discovering myself through my blog?

I happened to bump into this link through some other blog. :) Life is like that. If everybody likes reading something nice about themselves I'm not an exception here. I'm not sure if all that's mentioned here is true about me except one - "tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders". Now I know why my left shoulder is hurting. I can talk about it later though.

And here's my analysis. (I liked the illustration)
ISFP - The Artists
The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Here's the link to know more about you through your blog.
http://www.typealyzer.com

I'm wondering how on earth somebody comes up with an idea like this and even materialises it. I'm awed!!!

all in the race

After really long time, I was behind the steering wheel. I was stuck in the traffic and I couldnt resist the temptation to get irritated because I was driving. But I tried not to. Like all, I too was racing for time. Despite starting well in advance, given my track history of keeping on time, I was behind the schedule. Near the traffic signal, in the nick of time where a lot of things happen. That too in split of a second. I've been told, taught and also its law to stop the moment red light is on. The amber light gives us a hint red is on its way. Still, some people ignore it and try to squeeze themselves and feel so good about it. While some promptly stop and wait for the green light to turn on.

I had this big question running on my mind for quite sometime. Which is, while some people live a life of values, truth and morals and others dont, in the end (according to me is the death) the one who has lived the life of truthfulness will score more and he is the winner in the race. As I grew up, when I saw people who despite not living a life in the right way (again right way is entirely how I perceived it as right) not having any problems did not fall in the 1st logic that evild gets punished. Yesterday, I was relating everybody else's commute itself to the journey of life, . While some stick to rules others dont. They may win momentarily but in the end, when they look back at their journey the person who has jumped signals know it, his journey was not the right one while the one who stopped at all and followed rules is the real winner. In the end, it just matters to the self and one is answerable to self alone. I got my answer.

My new teacher!!

Last Sunday we had been to Bannerghatta National park. This is the result of two weeks meticulous planning, which also involved 2 other families. I really don’t know how people go on vacation in groups that involve multiple families. Finally, we 3 were determined to go and another single friend joined us. (Really sweet of her – She is a joy to be with). This visit to National Park’s sole motive was to entertain our 2.5 years old Nemo who is familiarised with what’s there in the zoo with the help of books.

One whole week, I kept telling her we are going to National Park on Sunday and prepared her for the upcoming big event. Finally the Sunday arrived and we were excited too. All of us got into the car and were welcomed by the huge traffic on Bannerghatta Road which drove my better half crazy. Nevertheless, Nemo’s spirits and mine were not dampened. As we reached the park, we were welcomed again by the long queues for ticketing followed by jungle safari queue.

While we were standing in the line, Nemo enjoyed the crowd, the other kids and the monkeys that were jumping from one tree to the other. As we got into the matador and were taken into the jungle the first thing that we spotted was some animal, which was not there in Nemo’s book. She dint care. Next was the Bear. Nemo knew the Bear. She dint care this time too. Instead she was happy to be sitting between her mom and dad. Next we saw Tiger. After much persuasion from us, she looked as if she is interested.

All of us got some hint then and there that our madam is not too excited about watching these animals. After our safari we entered the Zoo. The zoo has a little park that has a swing, sliding stone and a merry go round. The moment Nemo saw that it was as if she found her treasure. She ran to the swing and kept playing there. She dint want to leave that place for anything else. While we were trying to explain her why we have come to the Zoo and how she may like the other things in the Zoo, she was not the one to listen. She just wanted to swing in the swing. Though we let her play a thought immediately crossed my mind.

What I thought she might like is not what she likes. This tiny doll – all of 2.5 years has a mind of her own and wants to exercise her wish. It doesn’t matter to her what other things are around her. Her focus is what she is familiar with and what gives her joy. She knew that she was firm in her decision. I only assumed she likes something and presented to her but couldn’t impose it on her.

Nemo is my teacher these days. Instead of imposing things on her, she wants us to collaboratively help her grow and bloom the way she wants. I’ll have to learn to abide by this.

Dream lived!!!

Oracle had intrigued me even before I joined this massive organisation. Way back in 2000 and 2001 I had couple of very good friends who were in Oracle. I used to pay frequent visits to OTP office and had more reasons to be impressed. The Oraclites with the red tag around their neck did stand out in the crowd. Be it their professional approach right from the secuity check to the reception, they had it in them. And my dear good friends who were all the toppers in their respective college were the brand ambassadors for me.

May be it was then the seed of desire was planted in me and I too started to nourish it. Sometime in 2002, I got to know there was an opportunity to be part of Oracle in HR – Operations. My experience then was HR and administration. I thought I’m the perfect fit and plunged to take up the interview. I arrived at Oracle office, this time as an interviewee. Filled up the form at the entrance and I had to meet up with the Recruitment Manager.

I was escorted to his office. We had a talk that went on for 30 minutes and he parted with a note that somebody from his office will revert to me. I got home with all dreams and anticipation that I’ll soon have that red tag around my neck and how that will make me beam with pride. All that I wanted was to be part of Oracle. I thought I was watering the sapling of desire, which needed some additional nourishment.

One day passed, 2 days, 3 days followed by 1 week. I did not get any call. I was first disappointed. Secondly, devastated. Thirdly determined. Determined to convert this failure into success. It’s very true that failure teaches a lot more than success does. I got the message, which was unsaid, I was not scaling up to what Oracle wanted. I wanted to know what does it take for me to be there. Surely there must be something and I should get there was the only thought.

Having friends already in Oracle did help me. I talked to my friend Nalini, who told me most of the HR’s in Oracle are MBA’s. That striked me, I don’t have one.

I went ahead and enrolled into MBA course with a specialisation in HR and Operations. Worked in the day and studied in the night. Did my assignments diligently. Semester after semester I ensured I got good grades. Simultaneously, I started preparing myself for the job role.

There were times when I used to take my bike and wander near the office and visualise myself working there, my gaining a free entry into the ofice premises, dangling the red tag around my neck and my email id would be my first name.last name @ oracle.com. I dreamed hard. I kept affirming I’d be there soon.

It was in 2006 Feb, my other friend Nanditha who was going places in Oracle Recruitment team told me about an opportunity that exists in Oracle in their team to work with Guna – the recruitment manager. The discussions followed.

My first round a telephonic interview was scheduled. I prepared for this, as I knew I can’t take chances and this is in a way taking me to my goal closer. The call landed on my mobile phone and the interview went on for close to 45 minutes. Then I was invited for a face 2 face or the personal round.

That interview was scheduled on a Saturday in Café Coffee Day close to my home. I reached the venue and was eager to meet Guna of whom I had heard a lot from my other friends working with him.

A casually dressed gentleman arrived and shook hands with me and I knew that it was Guna. It’s his demeanor to put people at ease – I realised that in my first meeting itself. We started the discussion. Before meeting, on the cal we had an understanding that the meeting is for 30 minutes. Our discussion went on for 2 hours - understanding the various BU’s of Oracle, my role, a glance at his role, my career plan and all. Guna came across as a very gentle, understanding and friendly manager. Again, we parted after a long discussion with a note I will get a cal from his office.

1 day passed, 2 days passed followed by 3 days. 4th day, when I cross checked with my friend Nanditha and was awaiting her response; Guna called me and asks me “havent you received the offer letter?”

The rest as they call it is all history. Its 3.5 years now and my bond with Oracle is growing strong.

Snigda - The Inspirer

As it is I was late. (as usual) As I entered the room, she gave me an understanding smile but with a question on her face like a professional and looked at the co-ordinator if I can be allowed to get into the class or not. Mathew (a friend – we are all in the same team) nodded his head approvingly with a smile. I pulled a chair quietly and sat with that sheepish grin - like always. By then the other team members had introduced themselves. And she, I was making my own assessments of her. I told myself, that she would win 10/10 in toastmasters club. She had good presentation skills, has good command over her language and most importantly she does not look a day older than 30. That’s all and I started concentrating on what was going on in the class.

In a little while I got to know the Trainer’s name is Snigda and she is a trained RJ. With a raised eyebrow I told myself no wonder she is modulating her voice so well. In the lunch break, we all got talking. Luckily it was “girls only” and we were free to express all that we felt. Snigda got talking like she would do with her friends if she met them for casual lunch. A very unusual sight for me considering she is visiting us, our campus for the first time. There was no need to break ice. What stunned me was she is not 30 and is nowhere closer to that number but has gone past that for quiet sometime now. Unlike other women, she was not a bit hesitant of sharing any of that info. She was not in the preaching mode but so friendly as if she knows this bunch of 4 girls from ages.

I was so impressed and inspired. Snigda has it all. Like most of us, she has worked her way up but she stands out because she did not allow anything stand her way. An early marriage (around the age of 21), Husband - an army officer who was getting tranferred every 5 years, 2 kids and other usual things to attend to. Her priority even today is family. However, career too plays a great role in shaping her life. That’s when she worked around to make things work for her. A veteran, who has 12+ years of work experience in her kitty, is a certified RJ, ex sales manager with Taj Hotels and comperes shows or events and is a softskills trainer. She is so passionate about all the above and it just shows in her eyes. She radiates positive energy.

I’m a big fan of soft skills and keep attending trainings, seminars or anything of that sort whenever I get an opportunity. Most of them would last untill I leave the hall. But the “planning and organising” methodologies that Snigda shared were so simple, practical and realistic I have put a lot of tips to use. She just leads by example. Some of the tips that she shared in the class, the way she was motivating each one of us and also handling a crowd of such diversity (we were from different business units doing various activities right from sales to HR to development to support) She did it all with ease.

In my research “women @ work”, I’ve been talking to a lot of women professionals from different walks of life. One of the key result that was derived from a random sample survey that I did, a lot of women give up/quit their careers the moment they enter their family way. And here, what do I see? Somebody who began her career life after having two kids!! She broke the myth, which is doing rounds that one can’t have both in your life – a great personal life and equally successful career life as a woman. If you don’t agree, meet Snigda once and you will know.

Toastmasters

Toastmasters happened to me for a reason. Words fail to describe how passionate I feel about this great organisation. The following is what I wrote for one of the egroups sometime in 2003. I still feel the same way about Toastmasters.

-

Now that the New Year has come a long way – almost 2 months to be
precise, all of us would have made some resolutions - kept few, broke
few and going on with few. I even remember having had some healthy
discussions on how we got to celebrate the 1st day of the year too.
This reminds me of exchanging gifts. We are so busy choosing gifts
for others, have we ever thought of a gift for "ourselves"?

Now that I have your undivided attention, let me tell you about an
interesting organisation - "toastmasters". For those who know
what "toastmasters" is all about, you can happily skip the following
three paragraphs.

A "toastmasters" is a non-profit international organisation that
helps its members to enhance their communication skills, leadership
skills and also public speaking skills. Here, at the first level the
members are encouraged to take up 10 projects that have guidelines in
making an individual a very efficient and confident speaker. Nothing
much! 10 scientifically arranged speeches based on 10 themes/topics,
which are entirely left to the speaker's discretion. And at the end
of every speech one can surely sense the achievement. End of 10
projects… there you are… so proud, smiling and happy for yourself.
This is the magic "toastmaster" does to all its members. Does it
sound like "cakewalk"? That's the fun.

When a member is joined new, the other senior members play
responsible roles in moulding his/her personality. They also assign
a mentor and evaluate member's performance. The best part is here.
The mentor is a friendly teacher – who takes the member through this
journey into the garden of speeches. Not only this every time the
member presents a speech, another friendly member also evaluates the
speaker objectively. The mentor brings to the speaker's notice the
positive aspects of the speech and suggests some points for
improvement if any. Where else can one find a mirror to reflect your
real self?

Another interesting thing about "toastmaster" is while preparing the
speech. "Say what you do and do what you say" becomes the "mantra"
here. The content members prepare is so much from their self that
he/she may start wondering if this was their real self. When
speaking out or while giving the speech, it comes out with so much of
feelings that one gets lost with all other members. Doesn't this
sound like a solitude moment?

Hope I've said more than required. In case you would like to
explore, virtually you can take a journey into www.toastmasters.org
or if you want to see all this happening for real, you are most
welcome in any of the clubs that are spread all over the world.
There are 9000 clubs all over the world and 19 clubs in Bangalore
alone. The Taj Gateway on Residency Road has a club called LA1924
that meets every Wednesday at 7 pm. Just drop in. There are no
obligations as to who you are, where you are from or what you are :)

I'm sure this is a gift each one of us have to give – of course – to
ourselves!

"loneliness" in Kodai

Anu shared this pic just few hours ago. This pic she took when we did our “adventurous” trip sometime in April last year. When a friend asked me what I mean by adventurous, I had told her with a grin we did not take pictures of ourselves. Anu proved me wrong. She had taken this and I was not even aware!!!

I got to know something like this had happened few days back when Anu told me she has sent a picture for a contest. Today she shared this link http://panachallenge.com/challenge/show_entry.php?challenge=59&sortby=chlg&srch=&cam=&favs=&entry=4073

She had posted this pic under the theme “loneliness”. I don’t know if I really look that lonely. J All that I know is, Anu and me were talking endlessly early morning and later she took her camera to take some pics and I was sitting by this big window in that Swedish home – lazily curling up in that thick blanket. I can’t even recollect what I was thinking.

However the theme “loneliness” really intrigued me. If this picture communicates loneliness of the person in the frame, look closely. There is light the other side of the window. Come to think of it, it’s the person in question who is even creating that feeling for her. There is light out there and all that requires is a little bit of effort to just move towards light and let go of the feeling of alone. This so much making it evident how we create barriers for ourselves.

I’m super thrilled with this picture and the thought that it induced in me. Here goes a zillion thanks to Anu for capturing this moment for me.

Short movies and BRTFF

I'm all excited about this weekend. Coming Saturday, BRTFF has a long day movie screening of short movies. Here's the link for more details http://www.brtff.com/brtff6

I have developed this passion for short movies for quiet sometime now. From first, my interest has been in art movies though I enjoy the mainstream movies too. It was sometime in August/September 2003 I was part of collective chaos - an amateaur short movies club that used to screen movies once in fortnight and also discuss about the movie. Babu, the brain behind this was a very creative ingenious short movie maker. I had good time while I was part of that group. The group still exists in yahoo and I just rejoined.

However, looking forward to the weekend to catch up on all the lost short movies which otherwise is not accessible for private viewing. Lets see how it goes.

Live life - Kiran's way

Here's something what my sweet friend Kiran has to say.

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Take revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the a**hole what you feel. Let someone know what they r missing. Laugh til your stomach hurts. LIVE LIFE!"

I liked it a lot. A lot of us may not have courage to do any of the above. But want to do it all deep down. So, its for anybody who wants some confidence and ideas may be.

By the way, Kiran is my sweetest friend. We play Table Tennis together, laugh at silly jokes together, check our weight and compare together, crave for same kind of food and eat it too then, crib about putting on weight.

Its strange how some friendships even bloom. Though i've seen her in the office for more than 2 years now, its during the Table Tennis tournament last November '08 that I took notice of her. She was in the semifinals (women's singles - i think) and semi finals (mixed doubles). She lost in both and we became friends to beat our opponents.

Later we realised there is more than Table Tennis to our friendship. We both love to laugh and do that all the time. We are understanding to each others needs, respect each other and love to hang around with each other. All in all, we rock.

Hey Kiran, this is for you.

Top 10 things that pain me

1. Bangalore losing its old charm
2. Trafficjams that refuse to make a move
3. Bikes parked sideways in the middle of the road
4. Multi level car parking
5. Trash on the road
6. Infants and Toddlers used in begging
7. Newly laid road being dug
8. The stray dogs of cubbon park
9. Child labour
10. The orphan printouts near the printer on the 9th floor printer room

car key and today..

Though the order could be today and car key, the events that surround around car key precedes any other event that would have occured today. All of a sudden, I remembered I have this shopper's stop gift coupon that I won as a performance award last year. When I saw it for its vailidity, it had expired by a month. I thought I'll take my chance with my luck as Shopper's Stop is just the next building, I decided I go down and buy something in swift. Also, I had to return the audio cd to the library which was in the car. A raised multitasker that I am, I decided to do all this and a little bit of socialising, I called Deepthi to accompany me. We both set our way to Shopper's stop with the usual chit chat as if it was just two of us who existed on this planet.

When we formally cross checked if I could still use the coupon, promptly I came back to cosmetics section to browse on what's new on the beauty enhancer's front. As nothing fit the bill, we happen to land our eyes on the lovely handbags and wallets as both of us binged on seeing all the bags. Its then I remembered, my car keys were missing. I literally went berserk and ran to the first stop of our journey in SS, the cosmetics section. No..its not there. My heart beat slipped 2..no no..4 beats. Then I remembered, we had also gone to perfume section. No luck there too.

I know i was tensed. Tensed about all the practical problems. As far as I know, I dont have a duplicate key back at home. I dont even know what to do next. I put my brain to the best use and sent away my friend back to office. Went to the customer care section and made them do an announcement that such a great thing has happened to me. My brain and heart had changed places. However, I was all set to face the consequences. Promptly called a very good friend of mine for some advice. Again, this is what girls do. We want to tell the whole world if possible, what's happening within too.

Deep down, I was very confident I'll get the keys. This is something, I have learnt out of attending a mind power course and experience. I just visualised as if everything is fine. And me going home in my yellow car, listening to my favourite music on the same road that takes me home everyday. I'm not at all rational then. I know there is this little angel above me which is always protecting me and all.....

And the miracle came to me through this angel who was on the cal. He kept insisting I stay put at shopper's stop till i get it. I really dont know what prompted him to do so. I again went back to Shopper's stop with my emotional baggage and the luggage with prayers to the above lord to the same spot where i lost the sight of the key. While I was wandering near the bags section, the salesman of that particular domain casually asked me dangling that cute little car key around his index finger if that's what I'm looking for.

I almost visibly jumped out of excitement, joy and what not. The rest as they call is history. Thanked everybody - all involved and non involved staff of shoppers stop.

Drove home like how i visualised. Listening to my favourite music in my yellow car on the road that took me home like it does everyday.

slum dog and dev D

I watched “slumdog millionaire” over the weekend. I came out of the theatre with great admiration to the director for his excellent style of narration. Not so avid movie buff that I am, I can’t relate or compare movies. However, from the limited experience I have in watching movies (on an average of 1 per week – on TV :)) I know that this is one of the best. As I have not read the original book “Q&A” on which this movie is based, I am not sure if the book is also same or the director has adopted this style. I thoroughly enjoyed each and every moment of the movie. Each one of them has done a splendid job in their own areas.

I personally liked the “happy ending”. How can Jamal not get Latika? Especially when Jamal is so genuine, true and simple. Isnt these the ingredients for love?

2 weekends later, I watched “Dev D”. A record of its sorts for somebody who watches on an average only one movie in the theatre per year. So, I have to be very choosy about what I’m watching.

I was drawn to this movie only because of 5 star rating. Only after done with the movie, I realised after a little bit of googling that it’s the modern version of Devdas. I couldn’t believe my coincidence as I watched Sharukh Devdas just a week ago. So, I could draw a lot of parallels of Dev D.

Though the whole movie was flawless, it’s intended for adult viewing. I was surprised to see some kids. Anyway, our modern Devdas does not have any problem in marrying Paro except he himself. And our Paro too is the women of today who doesn’t ask him “again” to reconsider marrying her though both of them are madly in love with each other. The love triangle is completed with the entry of Chanda, which draws some kind of reality inspiration from the MMS scandal that happened in a school sometime back. Nice to have some kind of social message in an entertainment media. Overall, a nice movie. Again, happy ending as Devdas gets Chanda which is not the case in the original Devdas. I like happy endings.

After these two movies, I’ve vowed not to even wander anywhere in the vicinity of any theatres for the next two years.

Say it with a Rose...

The much awaited “Say it with a Rose” day a.k.a “Rose day” is on. It was to preceed the Valentines Day as we dint wanted it to clash with the Valentines Day celebrations. And best of it all, the much awaited Valentines Day was falling on Saturday.

Some of us the creative minds if you may want to call, organised a rose day as part of fun activity. The whole idea was, all the employees were given a choice to give roses to their colleagues and friends within the Business Unit. Yellow rose for friendship, pink for admiration and white for respect. Finally the “D” day arrived and we went around distributing the roses per order.

While some received bunches and bunches of roses, some none. While one manager walks that extra mile to gift 3 roses each in his team, the other dint even remember that he has to give a rose. One great soul, who is the most admired for his cool and calm nature never realised he had an admirer in him. While he thought, he hasn’t impacted any, the roses on his desk has some other story to tell. And the best was this Manager, who conveniently deleted all the mails from the past 3 days that had the subject line “rose”. Finally, on the rose day, when the volunteers gave him the roses, which were gifted to him, he realised the whole concept of rose day. And the best part was when this manager remarked how the roses he received were all from his non-team members. He thinks, all his team members too must have deleted all the mails. J While another great soul, was supposedly preoccupied by lot of “other” things again, conveniently forgot. But did make efforts to find out who gifted him roses and thanked them. Isn’t that sweet?

Another manager, dint want any of his team members to feel left out for not getting a rose so, gave one to each even when the member was on leave. Also we have some more interesting people around. This beautiful lady got loads and loads of roses and then she realised that she too should have given. As if buying a ticket after the bus has gone will help. Some members were very happy to be onsite for the first time as they felt they dint have to go through the embarrassment of not getting any roses or save themselves by not gifting any. Interestingly, one sweet soul, did not give any because if she had to give, she would want to give it to all. So, she chose the earlier. What an idea!!!!. While some souls, did soul searching after they got some roses they got all excited and ordered for others. We knew this would happen and had some extra roses too.

What makes me wonder is, is it that difficult to appreciate somebody? Why are we so hesitating to communicate? What does it take from us to leave our comfort zones and enter a new arena and let the other person know how he or she made you feel nice? They say “enthusiasm is contagious”. Why do people hesitate to cheer somebody for just being what you are. When I went around to see, some desks dint have even a single rose. Is it that “he” or “she” that unpopular or nobody likes them or what could be the reason?

There are again some interesting people around us who said it really dint matter to them they dint get any. And some of them have these “very serious” outlooks that all this is for people in the school and college and not for me. Some walked around looking at peoples’ “jumping around” with angst the way they would look at a cockroach that’s wandering around the kitchen all excited seeing some stale food.

Some may think that its not their “type” to participate or celebrate, while some of them made it a point to make this day special. Be what may, crack open the nutshell that is built around you and break the wall that you have built around yourself and reach out.

The whole idea is about not to miss an opportunity to make a person feel nice. For all we know that is the only thing the person may have needed to smile.

watch to watch!

For some strange reason I had given up on wearing a watch on my wrist. I had a good collection of watches (mostly gifted), which I had collected from past few years. To this collection, I added two more sometime in August (a birthday gift and a friendship day gift). Sometime in September when I looked for the new additional watches from the lot, they were not there. I searched a little bit but in vain. I was so mad at myself for loosing a gift. I felt extremely irresponsible and as a punishment I gave up on wearing them for the whole year.
During the same time, I had a tiff with two good friends. I started relating this with the lost watches. I analysed a little bit on why I lost the watches. Not being organised, responsible and diligent to take care of things were the reasons I lost the watches. And what about the friends? Again the same. Not being considerate, patient and gentle were the reasons. I dint want to loose my precious jewels in the form of friends. This disturbed me so much that I finally made my first attempt to reconcile the broken relationship. These two friends of mine, such lovely gentle darlings, they immediately patched up with me. The same evening, while I was looking for something else in cupboard, I saw my lovely watches sitting quietly and looking at me with a familiar smile. I was so happy. I thought I got all that I lost. J
Now this year, though I can wear the watches, I’m so used to not wearing them, I’m still continuing with the same habit. However, my collections of watches are growing though. I hope I get into my old habit of not only wearing watches, but matching them with the outfits I wear.