The sealed envelope

The year 2012 started with lot of hope and anticipation. The last 2 digits of the year "12", did look attractive. As always, the year threw open various challenges along with opportunities to learn and become a better individual. Now that am at the fag end of the year, when I look few things that really stand out include


a) Trip to Srilanka for TM District Conference.

b) Trip to Thailand - Cruising through islands

c) Trip to Ooty, Kodai, Goa and Coorg (oh yeah! different time frames)

Apart from that, some new people I met have been a blessing and are playing integral role in my life. Some bonds grew stronger and some I could not keep it going due to hectic schedule.

When I look back, I did manage to do what I like the most - a little bit of traveling. Unfortunately, have to stall my visits to LA - my Toastmaster club. Thanks to my office location and the traffic.

That said, something is missing for sure. The time that's gone by is just gone. Where have I made the investment is the big question I am asking myself.

Yesterday, in our year end dinner it was a fun exercise I was exposed to. The team in the last meeting of the previous year had to write

a) What do you want the same for the next year?
b) What do you want to be different the next year?

It was fun reading the then team's responses. The current set up was, most of the team was new and the people who had written weren't there. In some cases, they had predicted they would move on and in some it had happened as if it was a sweet co-incidence.

This year too, after the dinner we were all asked to write the same thing and all our responses were sealed. Our big boss will open the envelope next year after the year end dinner. Quite intriguing, interesting and fun exercise I thought.

I'm asking myself the same question again and again. I did write something and my response is sealed in that envelope which is safe in my big boss's cabin.

I still am pondering on the same questions:

What will be the same in the next year for me?
What will be different in the next year?

I guess it's time to give a thought to those 2 questions and live by those answers which I'm going to write and seal so that when I open the envelope, I smile that I lived true to myself. 

Shabana's wedding!!

A surprise call from Shabs made me look at the date and smile it is not Oct 8th. Invariably, I end up calling Shabana on 8th Oct of every year and she teases me her birthday is on 4th Oct.


Shabana and I go back 10 long years when we became friends at Indiainfo and fortunately been in touch. The call sometime in September 1st week was to let me know that she is getting married on September 15th. She said she will send me the details on email and asked me to text my “new” email id. I promptly missed and welcomed the wrath which followed.

My hectic schedule did not permit me to check and clarify where is Shabanan’s wedding till the evening of 15th September. On the call, I vaguely remember her telling me Richmond Circle. On September 15th, I promptly went and shopped for a gift and got decked up in a silk saree. Raised high hopes of yummy biryani at the wedding, along with hubby and daughter, we drove towards Richmond Circle.

On the way, my heart beat starting beating relatively faster when I did not have Shabana’s phone number stored. That’s when I realized all my previous contacts on the phone had got wiped out because of some reconfiguration on my blackberry. Slowly I whispered to my husband to go towards “Sacred heart auditorium” first. Given the traffic in Bangalore and one ways, we can’t go wherever we want but go where roads take us. As I neared Sacred Heart Auditorium, the empty hall failed to welcome us. By then, the lipstick had started drying and I did not have guts to apply another coat. :) I asked my husband to go towards St Patrick’s church and prayed to all the god’s and wished Shabana’s wedding was at St Patrick’s.

A sigh of relief walked passed me when I heard music and lights at St Patrick’s. We promptly parked the car and walked towards the entrance. My hope sunk deep down when at the entrance the welcome board read some other name. Now my hopes had hit rock bottom. Few friends we have in common were out of country and one friend in Hyderabad. As I did not have their numbers, turned to “Google God” on the smart phone which looked handy. My first search criterion was “Weddings in Bangalore on September 15th”. The Google God, did not throw any results from India. It’s then; I tried checking my email on the phone. Well, that day the luck god was not really favoring me. When I entered the login credentials, the phone said it will not allow me to login as it does not recognize the device. Phew…. I stood there in front of St Patrick’s church not knowing what to do.

When all my attempts to find a way failed, the way forward was to go back. We were all dejected, disappointed and disheartened. All of us decked up for the wedding headed straight to Papa Johns as there was no food at home. Nemo was very happy she was getting a surprise Pizza. While Vinod and I had a "silent" dinner, the only thought on my mind was “where is Shabana’s wedding?”

Even as I write this, I don’t know where was Shabana’s wedding. When I told my neighbor friends this incident they only laugh. Finally, I’ve connected Shabana on Facebook and hopefully will ping her there to get an answer to “where is Shabana’s wedding?”.

Shabs, if you thought I missed your wedding – it’s not true. This is what happened! :)

Puzzle???

I love jig saw puzzles. Especially when they are scattered everywhere and how one bit at a time leads to the bigger picture.

At home, having a 5 year old means missing pieces of jig saw puzzles.  Today, it was cleaning day which is a ritual when the toys are all over the place. As I started segregating the various kinds of toys, I happened to pull a jigsaw puzzle pieces.  There were many.  I had to do something about it.

Once I got hold of the pieces, I started arranging them.  They were really tricky.  Sometimes it looked as if I was at an herculean task of arranging the puzzle with few pieces.  The mind was trying to deceive me by tricking me that most of the pieces were missing and I can never arrange the puzzle.  I was not the one to give up, I called the in house expert nemo to fix the puzzle.

That is the beauty of kids.  She collected all the pieces and started arranging it in her style.  It was amazing to see how she knew where each piece went.  In no time, she fixed it and ran to play some other game.

I sat there staring at the puzzle.  I couldn't help thinking how most of the times our life is like the jig saw puzzle.  While arranging it, half way through we feel like giving up because we are made to think some pieces are missing.  If we don't give up and continue to arrange is when we can see a shape or we reach our destiny.  

Road to mom’s home

A random call on Sunday morning to exchange pleasantries with mom threw a surprise at me. My mom answered the call and she did not sound the same.  When I pressed hard to tell me where she was, she replied in a low voice that she is at a nearby clinic. I could just gather these three words “I am coming”.

There are innumerable occasions and times I have told myself I am lucky to be living so close by to where my mom lives.  20 kms is a big boon when compared to some of my friends who are 10 times more the distance and 100 times more helpless during the times of crisis or joy.  I took my car and set to my home, my birth home, my mom’s home.   

It was not a pleasant drive as the summer has set in to Bangalore already.  As I reached closer home, the road to mom’s house is closed.  There was some construction work going on and there was no way I could enter the territory.  As I am relatively familiar with the area, I took an about turn and went around the place to get to mom’s place through a different route to get closer to that road.  This was tough.  The roads were extremely crowded, narrow and congested.  The best part there was no road.  As I did not want to give up, I scraped through those by lanes and made it almost to the road which is parallel to where my mom’s home is.  The road further is closed.  Well, I too thought what anyone at my place would do.  I looked for a place to park my car.  The closest I could get was 1 km away.  I was at HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired) at that moment.  Partially helpless, I called mom to let her know my plight and asked her if she could come and meet me. My mom, being my mom said, “I’m busy cooking food for you.  Why don’t you somehow get here”?   As couldn’t find a place to park my car and get to her place by walking (I was wearing high heels), I reversed the car and got straight back to my abode.  

The whole week my mom and I couldn’t really speak.  Once that we spoke, she did mention how she is disappointed she could not see me.  I promised her I’ll meet her the next Saturday which I think consoled both of us momentarily.  

The most awaited Saturday did come by.  As a backup plan, I even thought how I should get to a place where I could part with my car and continue my journey in an auto. Saturday morning after my walk, I thought I’ll quickly catch up on my work and sat there on the couch with my laptop for close to 2 hours.  End of 2 hours a nagging pain started in the upper back.  I ignored and started getting ready to go.  After a while, the pain really troubled me so much that there was no way I could drive 20 kms. I called my mom to let her know I won’t be able to make it.  My mom said just three words “I am coming”.

Women’s day, Holi and Toastmasters

8^th March of every year is celebrated as International Women’s day.  Being in Toastmasters helps me talk about the importance of the day, we weave speeches around this and the themes end up all about women.  This time around, it coincided with holi.  Holi, the festival of colors on women’s day does make it special.  Women (girls) anyway are called as “colors” by road romeos *.  So, Holi on Women’s day became very apt.

Women’s day reminds me of this wonderful species called “women” in which I belong too.  The newspaper had a very interesting thought for the day on women:  “They may be from Venus but women sure make the earth a better place to live in.”  So original and makes all the women feel so proud. It is amazing how women have shaped the world for whatever it is today.  They are highly resilient, tolerant, strong willed and at the same time melt like butter when it comes to emotions.    

I tried making a list of wonderful women in my life – the list tops my mom and Lakshmamma for sure. :) Then some of my school teachers, couple of lecturers at college who carved me from stone to sculpture.  Then my two wonderful sisters, some of my girlfriends and the most recent addition, my little daughter nemo who I am sure will grow up to be a wonderful woman I will admire.

As my journey continues, I intend to meet many more wonderful women, from whom I can draw both strength and inspiration.  And some day, be that woman who can be an inspiration to couple if not more. That’s my wish for my “women’s day”

*A popular term used in Bangalore for the boys who stand near a girls college waiting for their potential girlfriends/Laila's :) 

He’s a winner!

My facebook status announced him a winner a day before the finals of Australian open 2012. It was a tensed moment to see my super hero of tennis fighting out in semifinals with the favorite of the season – Roger Federer. That’s who Nadal is. The one thing that differentiates him among the rest is, his strong mental ability to just not give up. Nadal did beat Roger Federer and made it to finals with Djokovic.
 
I don’t remember when I started following Nadal's game. It must be one of those matches in which he lost to Federer. In 2005 it was Federer the winner and there was nobody to challenge him. From somewhere Nadal appears and gives him a tough fight which was soothing eyes. True sports should always be about fighting or the clash of titans than one sided match. Nadal started giving those moments to Federer but they did it with class. Then the era of Nadal started for me. He started dominating in clay while Federer in grass. It used to be a treat to watch them in particular because Nadal was so strong both physically and mentally.

The time was set right for the final match of Australian open. By the time I started watching, Nadal had won the first set in a tie breaker. I often fail to understand, why he should take the set to such a tensed moment. Nadal performs best when under pressure is well known but why should it be so, always. The 2nd and 3rd set was conquered by Djokovic. Djokovic was doing what Nadal did to Federer. It looked all right for a common person like me that both were playing technically correct and right match. It was as if one minor mistake of each other was the only way they could score a point. Djokovic winning 2nd and 3rd set wasn’t a treat for my eyes. Nadal, being Nadal bounced back in the 4th set both mentally and physically. By then, they had clocked close to 2.5 hours and the 4th set was a treat to watch. Each and every point Nadal scored spoke about his determination, confidence and persistence to just prove himself he is made to be there.

Not sure how Nadal must have felt beating Federer in semifinals to reach finals with Djokovic but that proves to say he is a fighter. Tennis is a lot more a mental game than a physical game when it is Nadal. The 4th set did go to tie breaker and Nadal proved himself right by winning that set under a lot of pressure. That’s when I thought Djokovic was giving up. In between it started raining and both the players got few moments of rest – the most needed. They both bounced back to fight it out. Nadal almost took the match to his side in the 5th set. Each and every point counted. A wrong serve meant a lot to Nadal. For the first time Nadal’s first serve did not support him as much. Undeterred by who was playing the other side, Nadal kept his cool and played his best. All through, he was playing just for that one goal, his one vision and another win just there. That dream eluded him as the 5th set progressed. I did not see it coming either. Knowing Nadal, it was now about some magic and Nadal lifting the cup. The destiny had different plans. After an epic 5 hours 53 minutes that spanned 2 days (Sunday night and Monday morning), Nadal lost to Djokovic leaving many disappointed but stood tall for the tough fight he gave the other player. I can’t stop thinking what a warrior he is to fight it out even till the nth second. He is a winner, in a different sense.